Miles away .

2010-03-19T17:44:00.000+08:00

Hopped!
http://www.totez-pretentious.tumblr.com

Do visit! hahaha.

2010-03-07T15:04:00.003+08:00

i woke up at 10am today -.- how irritating!!!
but yeah, managed to catch up with all my shows, spent 5 hours on teevee this morning!
hahaha. happyyy!

oh and i watched survivor. looking at how things were going there, it kinda scares me. it seriously sucks. it shows that some people are seriously man of their words, but some, just twist and turn and make sure that the they will benefit from it. how selfish?

how far can you sacrifice for someone you love?

ytd, i know such a disgusting fact. i didnt know someone can actually hate me that much just coz of certain things i do. besides, i dont think she knows the whole bloody story and just assume here and there. now, what kind of attitude is that? im trying to get away as much as i can, i didnt even disturb you at all, but certain things that you say can hurt me that bad. yeah, perhaps, im just sensitive or over-sensitive.. but i feel so maligned. there's so much to say, but all i can say now is, YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN ME. reflect pls.

oh, and surprisingly, someone actually told my best friend (whom i had known for 7 years) not to trust me when she herself never even talk to me before and only know him abt a year? -.- like wtf? what bloody right do have to say that? and a friend of hers also told my best friend that ive been circulating stories abt him to others. like excuse me, if i wanted to, i would've done it way before he knows all of you -.- like seriously, why are you both doing such stupid things? why are there alot of ppl making up stories to break my friendships with others? i know im not perfect, and i know i do suck sometimes. atittude problem & whatever you guys call it, but its unfair to me.

idk what else to do now. everything's ripping apart. i just hope all these people who are stupid, coward, idiotic and whatever can just go to hell -.-

2010-02-27T00:17:00.003+08:00

this is so pissing me off!
yknow, sometimes i really feel so sorry for you.
you think that everyone's wrong and what you're doing is always right?
just by doing a small mistake, you made it like as if its such a big fuss.
it's disgusting, gross, sickening, turn off, absurd, nauseating, and blabla.
ur expressions, tones, and actions are detestable.
sometimes i just wish you can grow up
and stop pretending.

2010-02-19T23:12:00.003+08:00

Numb?
Or is it just pure ignorance?
And it hurts so much now.
What is happening?

ive got to stop crying for you.
i just feel like a stupid sore loser now.
sighs.
tonight's not gonna a good night.

2010-02-11T21:03:00.005+08:00

Guh-reat day today, i must say!

Pretty sad that it'll be the last time im playing with my dear beautiful teammates. they are really awesome bunch of peeeeople ): its just sad la, that seriously ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END ): but i really had fun today as it's such an awesome daaay! with being able to slowly walk to sch, a rather do-able history test, happy with test results, playing netball with lovely ppl and a box of mcwings with super nice friends! :D

after reading clara's post, im just loss for words! idk what to say. pft. theres so much to say, but i just dont know how to express coz' such experience and friends are too beautiful for any words to describe them. therefore, i just wanna thank everybody for being such awesome and nice people and i hope that all these blissful memories will stick with us forever. thank you so much and i love you girls! :D

sighs, this awesome day kinda made me realised that when 1 door closes, the other will be open. coz' im still feeling bitter with small little conflicts that ARE happening. i really do not know where i went wrong- it just happens and i hate such sudden change in things like this. i feel so tired of trying to change myself for the better and finding the fault and just improve on it. i dont feel appreciated at all. although i know that we should not expect anything in return, but i feel so used. it's not a pleasant feeling & i really hope all this bitterness will just slowly fade away. sighzxzx. but nevertheless, thinking of this every night will make me lonely, but exceptionally tonight, i feel so loved! its awesome, and i think im going to have a good sleep tonight with American Idol as the last page of the chapter.

i still think this post is pretty pathetic to summarize the whole beautiful and almost-perfect day, but still, its the best i can do, for now at least (:

P.S: go to http://numeroustars.livejournal.com/ for some pictures with super lovely people! :D

LASTLY, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR & HAPPY VALENTINES' DAY EVERYONE! :D

2010-02-09T21:48:00.002+08:00

WHAT THE FUCK.

STUPID LA.
i feel super insulted now can.
suddenly thought of sth, and i cant believe that people look at me in such a way -.-
like seriously, wtf.

i didnt even do ANYTHING.
besides, i understand.. its just that, why such judgements when you really do not know anything, esp, the whole bloody TRUTH.
talking abt fairness?
is it even fair to me?
assholes.

define. bad. influence. pls.

im more of disappointed.
i thought 4 years were enough.
i wont pursue the matter,
but nevertheless..
i know i have the right to be hurt, and fucking insulted.

2010-02-04T22:07:00.002+08:00

I dont want to fall into pieces,
i just wanna sit and stare at you.
I dont want to talk abt it,
and i dont wanna a conversation,
i just wanna cry in front of you.
i dont wanna talk abt it,
cuz' im in love with you.

sighs. im feeling so down all of a sudden! ): idk what triggered me, but this hurts. i suddenly miss someone- even dreamt of him last night. what does this supposed to mean! i dont want to repeat those painful, unbearable past.. but thinking back, am i just avoiding just like what others have been telling me, or it is really the truth that i dont want to look back anymore? this sucks.

i just feel like crying all of a sudden. why??????????

i was really stunned and dumbfounded when i saw you. my heart still skipped a beat. why? idw this to happen. im trying to pull myself together, its working- but how long can this strength last? im tired of crying, but when i look back, i can't help but to still feel this wrenching heart.

i really miss you.

2010-02-01T23:22:00.002+08:00

ITS NOT ME. ITS JUST THAT YOUR SENSE OF FASHION IS COCKED UP. SO MUCH FOR BEING A TRUE FRIEND. THANKS, YOU JUST MADE ME REALISE THAT YOU'RE THE OBSOLETE ONE. -.-

fucking angry can or not. i really thought you were like some true friend kind of thing.. but this is not the first time you're criticizing me in a way. i thought you're also sensitive, but you're not la. & what makes me angry is that you think u're always right and it's seriously getting on my nerves as days goes by. fuck la seriously. i know i shouldnt say this, but everytime you're doing it over and over again and i really cannot take it anymore. im a human too, and i have feelings. i just dont feel like talking to you and start talking abt topics like that and im just afraid that u'll criticize me over and over again. IM HURT, DO YOU KNOW THAT?

FUCK.

2010-01-29T23:57:00.003+08:00

Do You Know How Much I Actually Miss You?

hello. yes, sorry for the lack of updates. very busy with schooool~ what else -.- test after test after test. matches after trainings etc. had fun, and stuffs. anyways, i guess today is a pretty happy day for me! :D

school was alright, im early, and i didnt have to rush to school ^^ lessons were short. funny. weird. and i enjoyed myself! lunch was good. training was AWESOME! hahaha. date with davedearie was fantastic! conclusion : i had a blissful and happy friday! adding on, its friday night and i can sleep late, wake up late and stuffs like that. still planning on what's gonna happen tmr, but its sure gonna be fun :D

im sleepy, tired and i kinda regret going back to do something that i know i shouldnt be doing right now. but it is so hard now, and it just continues. sighs. and today, my heart skipped another beat. i hate this kinda feel yknow. esp when your mood is sky high, sudden stuffs will happen. pft. but its okay, im trying hard enough. i shall love myself!

tonight's gonna be a good night and i aint gonna let anything destroy my beautiful day! :D im sleeeeepy and super tired, but ill see how long ill last (:

2010-01-23T01:28:00.003+08:00

Adam Khoo's workshop was awesome! i love it and seriously, totally changed my impression of it.

it taught me alot of things. i realised ive been taking things for granted, but now, i can finally feel the importance of everything. including, the urgency to study. i hope to discipline myself and reach out to my current goal and stick to my resolution.

when i told my mom everything abt how i really feel all these while, it hurts both of us. esp me, cuz' i cant believe that im still holding on to the unbearable painful fact that happened 5/6 years ago. and till now, 1.36am, im still thinking abt what i said to my mom while my heart is tearing apart. i dont want to start thinking abt the impossible anymore, its just not meant to be. like mom said, ITS FATED.

sighs, i guess the workshop is the best one ever. and with that, i hope that i will be able to discipline myself and do what i have to do.

2010-01-12T21:16:00.002+08:00

i can be overly disturbed by what people have to say.

school's alright -.- so not. only the 2nd day of AEP and im bored and sick and tired of it already. wth. and tomorrw's AEP from 6-8 totally ruined my plans. pft, thanks alot.

hahah, today was shit. was excited for training till mother tongue class was being such a bore! zz. but nevertheless, looking forward for a better day tomorw!

& if you ask me whether im excited or not, my answer will be no. there's no sweetness here, it means more stress. and what will be the best? when people love me for who i am. and tell me, "i love you" when they actually really mean it. How Sweet! hahah!

3 more hours and im so not looking forward! what is wrong with me x.x tsk. i hate such feelings. i really dont want it to come, but now, it is here- soon.

2010-01-10T23:50:00.003+08:00

i wanna know how it feels like to be there again. i wanna feel it, once more. it used to be, still cant believe it. oh sighs. this is just Another Night.

many unfairness in this world, i just gotta live with it. seeing ppl happy, can't help but make me feel very miserable. sounds saddistic, but am not. pure jealousy, maybe?

ain't gonna return back to that route. please?

2010-01-10T16:09:00.004+08:00

Whatever happened to the good old days of basic respect?

hahah, sorry for the lack of updates guys! (if there are still ppl reading this super dead blog) anyways, i was quite looking forward to the CCA open house on friday, but it was such a disappointment! tears everywhere, disappointments, rudeness, unfairness. you name it. it IS the worst day ever in the whole of 2010. hahah. but nevertheless, hopefully everybody is feeling better and just, you know, live with it. pft.

school has been fine. butttttt, time seemed so slowwww. i was continously looking at the clock during every lesson. x.x i just wanna get O level exam done and over with. then, i can really slack my ass off.

SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO ANOTHER WEEK OF SCHOOL.

study hard, play harder, sleep hardest! -.-

2009-12-31T17:47:00.006+08:00

Okay!
Everybody's rounding up their 2009 with lotsa reflections!
So i guess, it got me thinking slightly abit, but since i just wake up like 2hours ago, im still braindead. Buttt, i think that i should still reflect on my terrible behaviour this year! hahah.

Well, i think 2009 is not a productive yaer for me. I feel that ive been slacking my ass off, most of the time. Other than being exposed to a totally different environment and a new stage in school, the rest of the things had been rather okay. And, i realised that ive given up on alot of things this year too and have that kind of heck-care attitude in things that i do. So, yeah, thats why i think that i did not achieve anything in 2009 except for more hatred by people and also giving bad impressions to new people that i know.

Number of friendships being disrupted too this year. Although there were quarrels everywhere, and also bitter moments, i believe that these friendships can be moulded back. Relationship with me and people are getting rather bad too. Parents, sisters, friends. I have no idea why, and this is where my new year's resolutions gonna come in!

Hopefully i'll keep it simple this time around.

1. To be a more responsible girl (student, daughter, sister, friend, Singaporean)
2. Be more positive in things that I do
3. Be nice to everybody and not be rude
4. To think with a more matured mind
5. Study hard and not skip school
6. Appreciate every single thing that i have in life
7. Lastly, to stay happy, make sure people i love are happy too, and..
8. Get over certain painful facts.

There you go! Though i still think there are quite a number more, but i shall keep it simple. Hopefully i'll be a better person in the year to come in terms of personality and mindset. I'll try hard to achieve it, and i hope people around me will help me too (:

Thank you everyone for making 2009 not as boring or miserable as i thought it would be. I agree, it is rather a bad year for mostly everybody around me. With deaths, beautiful relationships were broken and many unhappy moments. Therefore, i hope everyone will take it easy and take it as an experience and a lesson learnt. Thank you for being there and making me smile, you know who you are.

Happy New Year!

P.S: in order to get into the mood of doing reflection, listen to slow songs and rather emotional ones. hahah! it helps. for me, at least :D

i'm not looking forward to 2010, due to the many busy schedules esp gonna caught up with studies! but, since things like these are inevitable, i shall learn to accept it with a positive mindset! :D im afraid, but i am going to take things easy in 2010! Cheers!

2009-12-24T16:51:00.002+08:00

& before i forget,
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

hope everybody will have a blessed christmas day and stay happy always!

Love,
Shaikah.

2009-12-21T18:52:00.003+08:00

HAHAH. okay, me and dad is now back to the fun and loving father&daughter. hahah, sometimes he really really gets on my nerves -.- zz, but oh well, glad things are better now!

anyways, i feel so happyyy during the hols! got to do what i wanted, and yearning for. stayovers, sleepovers, chalets, bbq, games, feast, crazy nights, food, food and more food. hahaha, ive been eating alot, seriously. esp during the chalet over the weekends, i can just die. and now, i really feel fat. my tummy's bloated. and my bedtime is like totally gonecase already -.-

and now, life's back on track. gotta get back to the ever boring reality with school, homeworks, irritating ppl, and studies. hahah. yeah, just got to know that there's actually ALOT ALOT ALOT OF HOMEWORKS, AND I HAVE NOT STARTED YET. includ revisions and all, i guess i really should chiong like there's no tomorrow. sighs, thinking of this just turns everybody off.

andddd, itchy hand again. i know i shouldn't, but things just got to happen. i know im being such a hypocrite here, but i just want to avoid and get away from this painful fact.

oh well, i'm fine. since there's always light at the end of every tunnel (:

2009-12-17T16:01:00.002+08:00

JUST QUARRELLED WITH DAD OVER THE PHONE.
FUCKING ASSHOLE.
UNREASONABLE SHIT.

totally spoilt my day. already in the morning was greeted by a stupid bad stomach cramp, and PMS moments. and now, this? SUPER FUCKED UP.

REALLY CANT STAND THE FUCKING HOT-TEMPERED SIDE OF MY DAD.
JUST HOPEFULLY I DONT INHERIT THAT FROM HIM.
TSK.

loooking forward for a better night, HOPEFULLY.

2009-12-13T02:55:00.003+08:00

something really got me thinking tonight. long post ahead~

ive been into all kinda of situations before, i dare not say that i have better experience than anybody, but i believe that those are enough to actually judge certain things.. and to be in this situation that cause me to still have such a feeling in me, it is even harder to ignore it, and even way harder to aknowledge it. i'd made a vow, i swore. i know that i gotta stop all these in order to finally act normal, but i made a terrible mistake tonight. after being proud of my success, i actually peeped, and my heart kinda stopped beating. i suddenly feel disappointed with myself for letting it affect me again.

here i am, questioning myself - why this feeling? what is happening? i thought... i thought... and i thought. but those were just assumptions, i guess, the true feeling is just there, but im avoiding it, & im not sure whether that is a good thing or not. i thought avoiding and ignoring will slowly fade things away, but it is making things worse coz' once you find out the real truth beneath everything, you just feel so stupid, dumb, idiotic and totally brainless. AND THAT IS WHAT IM FEELING NOW. stupid, seriously, i feel very stupid.

i am on the verge of crying now, but as i promise, NO MORE TEARS. sighs, this is a disappointing night; unveiling a deadly truth. a truth that has been kept for like almost 2 years now. it has been so long, huh? too long. i can never feel anymore dumber than this. nevertheless, i will get over it.

2009-12-13T02:40:00.002+08:00

its been so long huh? well, been pretty okay these days. only that bodyclock is totally screwed up.. sleeping at 5-6am in the morning and waking up almost 12 hours later -.- (unless there's a need to wake up early and such). anddd, i had fun during this hols! hahah, almost everything ive been craving for and wishing for is done! :D oh ya! talking abt that, ive been eating ALOTTTTTTTTTTT. esp at such a time.. like instant noodles, mac deliveries and all kinds of junk food in the middle of the night - now even trainings cant help me.

ive not started on any homework. and have not buy my books yet.. and my foolscap too! I PROMISE THAT ILL START SOON, VERY SOON.

2009-11-25T18:35:00.007+08:00

DANGLING.

hahaha, dangle, dangly, dangling, tangle, tangling, tangly. these were the words for yesterday. hahah! so irritating laah. tsk, but oh well. ahaha, anyways, im enjoying my holidayyyyy! sleeping like 3-4am in the morning and waking up after 2pm. LOL! and as i was on the comp last night, i got hungry at abt 2+. so i went to grab a packet of Chipster! andddd its like super saltyyyy la x.x stupid man, spoil my night -.-

yah, anyways, i always got a sudden temptation to do my work (yes, random), but in the end.. I DO NOT HAVE ANY FOOLSCAP PAPER. i know its like stupid excuse la, and ill always forget to buy -.- and when i realise that i need it, the shops are not open. ahaha, its okay, im going to buy my books first (unlike last year, i bought the books on the last day of hols LOL!) , and hopefully, to start my homework, which clara has been stressing since ytd. haha, hopefully she IS focussing on doing it now, so the next time i see her, she wont keep saying, "ahh! i got so many homeworks lehh!" hahaha.

kay, actually, ive got nothing to blog anymore. im waiting for 7pm so that i can watch teevee! hahah, so i guess everybody out there, enjoy your holidays and DO YOUR HOMEWORK. hahaha! bye.

2009-11-21T20:03:00.011+08:00

BULLSHIT.

hello. hadnt been in school cause was super sick on thursday x.x and i thought i was really gonna return to Him and not wait till 2012. ha, oh well. thank god that everything's fine now.. anyways! school is super fucked up. some teachers actually dont believe that im really sick. haha, but seriously, stalk my blog for all i care. i think your actions are just disgusting -.-

anddd, friday was a total shit. went back sch to get the books and went back home cause i was still weak and unwell etc. and thennnn, some unfairness stuffs happened. bullshit lorh. UNFAIR, BIAS, IDIOTS. super unfair to us la. am still angry whenever i think abt this. super nonsensical that i think they should reflect on themselves. go look back at the attendance list la! blind bears.

ANWAYYYYYY. ENOUGH OF EVERYTHING. I WAS LOOKING AT SOME PICTURES AND LAUGHED MY ASS OFF. HERE ARE SOME! TOTALLY HILARIOUS.

look at that boy's retarded constipated face la! hahaha. but anyways, this was quite some time back.

anddd.

hahaha, i cant bowl at all la. look at my posture and everything -.- like who the hell bowls like this! and every single time like the same posture oneee. super retarded. butttt the worst and most embarassing picture is...

HAHAHA. is when i actually threw the ball backwards and it rolled to the back instead of down the aisle. HAHAHA! super embarassing till i can roll myself in the gutter x.x

BUT BOWLING IS FUN! SO EVERYBODY, LETS GO ON A BOWLING DATE WITH MEEEEE. ahahaha. sorry if these pictures are not funny to you, but those are extremely funny to me. hohoh. its crazy that these pictures can make me laugh so hard! hhahah.

OH OH! AND THE COMP IS NOW IN MY ROOM. HAHAHA. I CAN NOW JUST STAY IN MY ROOM AND NEVER LEAVE IT.

2009-11-17T22:22:00.005+08:00

ENJOYING MY HOLIDAY.

ahahah. when i was on the bus on my way back home, alot of things kinda made me think alot. & randomly, i thought of something. something that made me smile at least. haha, it was a nice feeling. anyway, ya, i miss mike. i think there wasnt much drama or corrupted break-up, except for the forced-to-split thing, but overall, it was really a peaceful relationship. and i miss him alot! hopefully to really see him soon and catch up! hopefully, he'll be out soon! haha, whenever i talk abt him, i just cant help but smile. aw. okay, enough abt him!

anyways, dave is a nice boy! couldnt meet him for almost a month as both of us were busy, and lately, we kinda got some argument. but ytd was well spent with him. dinner was such a happy-go-lucky thing and we just laughed our ass off everywhere every minute. haha, yeah, overall, he's nice and i love him alot alot alot! hahaha. (see! this para is dedicated to you ok! dont say i never care abt cha! hahah)

alriiiight. what kind of post is this, i do not know. but anyways, school has been such a bore & im skipping every single day of it and this makes me such a happy girl! :D

okay. and lately, ive been praticing self-control thingy and so far, it is showing a positive signs. no more blog-hopping = no more disappointments & heartbreaks! HAHAH. okay, whatever.

ahhh. i dont know what to do. i feel like studying, or doing my homework. but all my books are in school and i do not have any writing pad! HAH, this ALWAYS happens when i got a sudden motivation -.-

2009-11-12T13:56:00.004+08:00

everybody's happy now.
but i am not.
no, im not trying to act emo or whatev.
but seriously, i dont feel happy.

i thought those sacrifices made will actually mean something to you, but it turns out that you dont even care, and worst, you're still thinking that im not a good friend to you. know what, youve changed, and i know the reason why. ive been there before, obv i know. ive changed too, but everytime when i try, it just seems to the others that im doing something bad, unfair and mean to you, when everything actually means i care for you. i dont think i deserve such treatment, because in the first place, it was all a misunderstanding. i thought you understnd, but it turns out that you doubt me even more. im so tired of trying to mend this anymore. perhaps you may think that there is actually nothing to mend, but we both know..

sighs, i think everyone's the same. once they got IT, they don't even care about the rest of IT.. and i know, cause i was there too.

i dont feel the sense of belonging anymore, but i don't really care. perhaps, i should just take a break, and hopefully, im not thinking too deep abt this matter. sighhhhs.

2009-11-02T17:43:00.002+08:00

OUCH.
didnt know it could hurt that bad.
shit.

forget it. gonna go spend some quality time with my dear maaalatheee.
byyyye!

i guess i was too naive, huh?
pretty shocking, i guess?

2009-10-30T20:47:00.009+08:00

WHERE OH WHERE CAN MY BABY BE

had been spending days with the girls these days.. hahaha. crapped alot, played alot and its just pure carefree life. fun, joy & laughter. hahaha . if only such moments could last as long as it can. i feel so tired whenever the thought of the extra lessons during the hols just struck my mind sometimes. im lazy and tired of going back to the books and sitting in class during lessons and all -.- zz. so borinnnngggg righhhhht. pft.

hahah, but anyways, today was the Dikir Barat performance and i think we did not too bad. kinda screwed up abit here and there, but i guess, overall was okay. hahah, really proud of ourselves. im sooo goonna miss alot of thingggs ): the practices, shouting and pissed off moments. HAHA, AND OBVIOUS-GOSSIP SESSIONS with the girls. LOL! was great, and definitely, this performance will be etched in my mind 4eva. hahhhh!

zz. i dont know, i just think that you are doing certain things on purpose to get me away.. it hurts so bad. and i dont know why, although it still hurts so much, im just going on with it. why oh why. don't stop/comfort me, cause we both know that when certain things happened, nothing can ever heal the broken heart.

(no, im not pretending to be emo or what shit. im just voicing out how i feel. thoughts may wander anywhere when the moment comes)

2009-10-24T23:11:00.003+08:00

MIGRAINE. AND THERE IS NO MEDICINE.

all the medicine that my doc prescribed me is gone. i have no idea where it is. and mom accused me of overdosing myself -.- and now, this stupid migraine is acting up again.. and im forcing myself to sleep, but i can't. im feeling kinda torn up inside, and just afraid of certain things. & im waiting for my sister to come back so i can tell her my problems, but she's not home yetttt. tried to play bejeweled while waiting for her, and its not helping cause my head is gonna burst anytime!

ahhh. how bad can this get.. zz. and im just so afraid . i dont know if im paranoid or what, but i am just scared ): i tried to drown everything into my sleep, but those images keep appearing in my mind and i cant sleep, though im feeling so sleepy and all, and even though ive been sleeping for like more than 12 hours this week! >.< I HATE THIS KINDA SITUATION. and adding on, i have to wake up early tomorrow -.- zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

fine, i shall stop ranting and force my head under my pillow.
goodbye!

2009-10-23T21:25:00.004+08:00

helllow.

hahh. i guess things are just not the way it has to be. there are many other things that one have to achieve before getting what they want. its pretty sad actually that just because of 1 important thing, the other strong points are abandoned and in the end, everybody has to give it up. we both know what we feel for each other, but for the sake of those "things", i guess we'll just have to give it up afterall. sighs.

it's okay, i guess im going to take it easy! :D .
not too sure if i can or not. but im gonna try to do it cause i have to see certain things everyday, and if i have not, things will get really bad.

anywayyyyys, results are back! rather shocked at some, seriously. like my humans! hahah . "holidays" are finally hereee! some plans are done, some are carried out and i had fun ! ^^ hm, okie. gotta go for "hunting" already. LOL, byebye .

i think my post is rather general. so, dont think too much uh. and i think some people wont get what im trying to say, but yea, its okay . i dont know what im talking abt also.

btw, im not sure. is it just me being sensitive, or paranoid?

2009-10-20T20:34:00.005+08:00

3/7 CHALET.

it was not too bad . rather fun with all the screaming, laughter, pissed off moments, gossiping & all. so, briefly describe..

firstly, met up with the committee members, got the food. ate something light and slack around.. then booked in, played cards and all . ahahah, then playplayplayplay. took lotsa pictures! vb, and bbq after that. thennn, haunted house . was not bad luh, thanks for the effort put in :D then, rushed to movies . took cab with 7 peopleee! :D hahaha. it was niiiice. then, ran here and there to get drinks, but all shops closed -.- we gotta settle with MINERAL WATER. hahah oh ya, before that was took some neoprints with the girls aft gazillion years!

then watched 500 days of summer which was rather unique and worth watching! and got lost while walking back to the chalet. hhaha, was already rather tired & sleepy aft that. played truth or dare, cards, short ghost story-telling. sunrise, and rested for an hour! breakfast at mac and homesweethome. was already so exhausted laaa -.----

yup, OVERALL, THE CHALET'S AWESOME! thanks for all the fun, joy & laughter, 3/7! see ya tomorrow, lucks for all the results! (& i need that the most -.-)

nap wasn't nice -.- kept waking up for stupid reasons. feeling abit sick and freakin' tired now. hopefully to make it to school tomorrow! hahah .

hahah, alright, im gonna open my bills for this monthhh . hahah, ive been controllinggggg!

2009-10-18T22:55:00.006+08:00

ECP WITH BABYGIRLS!

was awesome . LOL. and everybody is gonna kill malathe on wednesday. but overall, the outing was a blast, and everybody had fun. hahaha, yaaaa, WE SAW VASANTHAM STAR at VIVO! :D
andddd, the taxi driver was nice, and the whole cycling thing was a killer. yea, and i am badly burnt by the sun . thanks alot. hm, other details abt the trip is in the people's bloggggs. so, just hop around ! gotta rush. byeee.

all unglam, FORCED POUT pictures are in fb and some blogs. hahaha!
p.s ; the shades belongs to natasha. (and i am forced to put it on)
HAHA. AND I HAD LOTSA FUN.
THANKS GIRLS FOR BEING SUCH IRRITATING PEOPLE THAT CAN CRACK EVERYBODY.
SORRY MEIQI, FOR YOUR LOSS (:

ANDDD. LOVE YOU GIRLS!

2009-10-09T19:30:00.004+08:00

THAT IS JUST SO OBVIOUS.

sometimes, i think people should really think twice before doing things that may hurt others. yeah, it can apply to ANYTHING. so pls dont claim that im a loser here or sth -.- but anyway, many things are always appearing right in front of my face, and everytime it does, it doesn't hurt as much as it used to be. perhaps, im just used to it as i am consistently avoiding myself from it, and i guess, it is already a habit to do so. though i still think that, certain things are better left unknown.

yeah, and the more you're trying to show sympathy, or guilt, the more i feel that you're a sucker.

hahahah. okaaay. whatever. so had been studying i guess? and its so last minute and i feel that it IS important to start revising earlier on and not just a day before the paper -.- it has always worked for me, but i guess, im wrong, for now. zz. been sleeping late, waking up early and all.. haha, not my fault that i can only absorb stuffs at night -.- yeah, looks like The Eyebags are gonna get heavier ): hahah ! but anyways, totally gave up for SS. rather disappointed for geog -.- guess gonna flunk some subjs this EYE.

oh well . not gonna whine, just gotta try to work hard. besides, i dont think there is such word as stupidity. everyone is given the same tools, is just whether you are willing to take it up, or not. so don't look down on people just because your results are like the top in the universe or sth (:

I WANNA WATCH SEX&THECITY AGAIN CAUSE IT TEACHES ME ALOT OF THINGS AND GIVES ME HOPE. (not abt the sex part pls -.-)

2009-10-04T13:41:00.007+08:00

haha, realised that i have not been updating my blog eh (;

anyways, this whole week, i had been staying back aft school at mac planning to STUDY with different people, but all attempts, FAILED. okay, they at least did some things, but i just stone there and laughed. hahah . i did not study anything for the whole week la. and obvly, im not ready for ANY papers at all -.- i screwed up my malay p1 though, but hopefully, it is not that bad. I WANNA PASS MY MT! so, yah, just some pictures to share.

the best pic i can find.

cause meiqi got short hands, and she cant take pictures properly (;

haha, okay, joking! :D

sooo. yeah, and on saturday (which is ytd, 03oct), for THE FIRST TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFE, i went raya with my friends . haha, yeah, people frm my malay class . yeah, im not enthu for raya cause of many reasons, but anyways, it was not too bad . rather fun AND SUPER NOISY. esp with 4 bimbos sharing 1 small umbrella and walking quite a long distance. hahah, yup . and laughed alot and everything . was fun luh. pictures are not with me.. so, just blog-hop or facebook or sth to find the pics! :D

anyways, me and ika tried taking pictures so many times.. but everything looks the same -.-

hahaha, so we decided not to take anymore cause we look rather funny . LOL.

YUPP. bad hair day for me, cause of the rain . tskkk.
nevertheless, i enjoyed myself! ;D

off to study now, HOPEFULLY!

2009-09-28T23:13:00.002+08:00

sighs . what a day today!

firstly, was so sleepy and i did not really have a nice sleep . reach school, almost doze off for the first few periods. ss was -.- and maths was not too bad . hahah blablabla, went home aft that .

my mood just got dampen after it happened. its a kind of feeling when you're totally vexed and chose not to care, but actually, deep inside, it's th opposite . this sucks man. i thought i wont be affected, but my mood totally got disturbed, sucks coz' it got me thinking about things all over again! oh sighs. and once i reached home, aft lunch, i just want to sleep, so i blasted my music and all but- it turned out that i did not really got a nice sleep -.- tsk, worst, it's a kind of feeling when you feel like crying all out, but you can't cry, at all. how pathetic! OH WELL.

anyways . I HAVE NOT START MY REVISION YET. AND I KNOW IM GOING TO DIE. planned to do geog today, but totally no mood ): god . someone save me man! so panic to see everybody so focus laaaah. tskk . nevermind, today will be the last slacking day! INTENSIVE REVISION STARTS TMR.

off to poker in facebook! (yeah, i know, like a loser) hahah . okay, byebye !

2009-09-27T00:12:00.004+08:00

hellow! it's been some time eh. hahah . been busy with school lately . some stupid extra classes EVERY SINGLE DAY that tires me out ): hahah . and yes, i still have not start my revision yet D; thatttt sucks. cause i promised myself to mug like an asshole during the 1 week holiday, but in the end, i did not . then supposed to get serious during lessons, but still, failed. and everybody started their revision already! but here i am, still very lazy -.- sigh oh sigh.

anyways, initially, today's plan was to study. yes. supposed to meet before 1pm, but we both woke up at 1 instead! hahah . then chat on phone and all, met at 3. ate, and laziness struck! haha . then in the end, never study for THE WHOLE DAY . hahaha, but its not wasted. went over his house and slack like asses. watched...

this!

haha, its a very nice movie . yes, not because of the sex scenes, the whole meaning behind it IS good . better than, 'he's just not that into you'.. this movie can make you cry! and seriously, im rating it - 10000stars over 10stars! :D hahah . it was nice luh .

so, after lazing around, lying down, rolling here and there, we decided to get dinner! went clementi and eateateat. then slacked around clementi area . the HDB area there is a like condo! must go quite deep luh, but it was nice ! so, we slacked there and sing like nobody's business . andddd, after getting irritated by so many insects, we went off abt 10. planned to stayover his house, butttt, plan cancelled coz' hafta go out with fam tmr! -.- zz.

was a great day! it was worth it although we did not study the whole day . yay . (anyways, name of the person not mentioned due to some personal reason, not acting secretive to attract attention or anyth uh!) hahah . i love this person and stayover next sat okayyyy!

yup . just wanna keep an update hereee . if not, SOMEONE thinks that my blog is no longer in use. HAHAH. alright, byeeee!

2009-09-17T22:47:00.004+08:00

erhhhhh . im feel so sick now. cause i watched the video that joshua & ee chang had been talking abt just now in class . its abt some guy supposed to jump into the sea, bt he somehow had a fault jump and his head knda break into two, and they showed it in the video ! and worst, the whole sea was full of bloooood x.x if you got the guts, can watch it. http://www.iamboredr.com/media/14525/Freak_Accident_Split_His_Head_Into_two/

okay, i watched it for the 3rd time to show to my dad, and im feeling more sick x.x ergggg, so gross . i shall not watch it anymore! hopefully i can sleep tonightttt . haha . alright, school sucks anyways . some extra class everyday and end so late -.- and this whole week, im home at abt 6 or 7 plus due to stuffs and all . tiringggg! but surprisingly, i paid attention in class today . as in, i dont really feel sleepy & i can focus ^^ haha . yup, tmr's friday! end of the week agaaain, weekends are here . speakng of that, i have not start my revision. and this sucks.

i hope i am just seeing things, but i guess... i am not, afterall .

2009-09-11T03:27:00.004+08:00

its 330am & i cant sleep.

we just put down the phone.
we finally crossed the path.
but i dont know what to say.
and how to face you on monday.
im not sad, nor happy.
i dont know what im feeling either.

2009-09-08T11:44:00.006+08:00

what is happening to the world today? where is the respect that everyone deserves? ive heard so much and seen so much. i felt it too.

it's sad to see, there we are trying so hard just to please someone. but others, take it differently. like, we're desperate or something? think abt it, don't you just do everything and give your all in the things you do? it's the same in a relationship isn't it? what's the point when you hesitate so much to show your love just because you're afraid that the other party might think highly of themselves. why is there insecurity?

everybody is scared to lose their loved one. some even go to the extend of satisfying the other party's needs just to keep them by their side. but in the end, they are dumped with so much pain and regret in them. it doesnt feel good, isn't it? but there are people doing this, & even two-timing? what is this? fling, and a relationship are 2 different things. in r/s, you commit yourself to it. you respect the other party. show all your love, care & concern and just give your all. but now, everything is mixed up. people use the term 'love' just to lure them into bed, isn't it? and once they get what they want, you'll be dumped. pain, torture and suffering. afraid to trust anybody again, feeling insecure all over, and it is all because of that heartless bastard.

where is the basic respect to women? well, MOST of the guys think that they have nothing to lose. but gladly, there are some who think otherwise, which is good, i guess. some, just toy with people's feelings. with all those sweet-nothings, they just love the attention that people surrounding them are giving them. they flirt discreetly even if they are attached. and some, claimed that they love you alot, but in time to come, they just disappear. nowhere to be seen, unable to be contacted. why? where are all the commitments that being promised before? just dont do it, if you dont mean it. others might not have the same simple, idiotic and playful mindset like you do.

& when you hurt the other party, you'll just pretend that it is none of your business. some even claim that, oh-i-cant-get-over-you-pls-come-back-to-me-coz-i-stilll-love-you, but the next day, or week, there- that same person flirting around and getting a new partner. contradicting. very. promises? those are just lies. lies- big or small, they are still lies which can hurt anybody deeply.

i'm not trying to sound like a loser here, but such things do happen . and it happened to the people i know, and it hurts so bad to see that such heartless people actually exist . it pains me to see people crying till they fall sick over someone who had ridiculed them . i was there, and i know how it feels like . & these people are my friends, i cant help them, they have to pull themselves back up by themselves . i can only be there for them, and the feeling is so helpless cause no matter how hard you try to help, you just can't, cause the only one that can help is, the person herself.

to my friends (you know who you are), i will always be there okay! hang on there, stay strong . iloveyou.

2009-09-02T22:58:00.003+08:00

halfway there.

everything's going on well in my life currently i guess?
well, its back to the boring routine .
wake up early, eat, sleep, schoolschoolschool, home, sleep, eat.
everything else is doing okay, except for school .
cause its boring, and lessons are pathetically draggy -.-
zzz.

but yeah, hope my life stays this way .
cause i know it can't get any better, but it can be worsen by things.
so, hopefully, those things won't come.
hahah .

2009-08-31T23:58:00.002+08:00

ahhh. today wasnt that bad afterall.

haha . anyways, blogger's back to her/his ownself eh? hahaaaaa . i was seriously wondering . its like, ive been trying to make things calm for everybody . trying to make ppl happy and just be there for them when they need someone . but i feel that im treated slightly unfairly and always been a punching bag, and even, to be scolded and malign of things that i never even doooo. wthhh . forget it man, such things can never be solve -.- zz. ha, idk what's with me. maybe, im just lacking of sleeeeeep x.x

ah, i slept for only 2 hours last night coz' i couldn't sleep . and i had to wake up at 5 to eat, and i cant sleep again aft that -.- and i went to school :D prouddd notttt. hahah. &yeah, slept for another 2 hours when i reach home.. and now, im still quite tired, and abit sleepy.. but i aint gonna sleep tonight cause ive to be there for my sister! haha, her temp suddenly shot so high just now, 39.2 degree Celsius . wthhh. was so shocked lah! so yeah, been taking care of her and such . so, i shall keep awake for the whole night, IN CASE anything happens ^^ i know im nice.

okieee. im having some stupid leg cramp thingy & it hurts likeeee efffff. but everyone's sleeping alreaaady ! and im alone in the living room -.- idk what to post. just that, im very tired.

2009-08-23T19:03:00.000+08:00

ahhh. stupid blogger again.

but nevermind, juust a short update! i cant sleep last night -.- so i was playing comp till abt 3am. then, everybody's asleep and im bored, so decided to go to meiji's house since we've got so much to catch up! :D cabbed there and blablabla . had my morning breakfast and then by 6, still cant sleep ): we purposely watch some lame show abt trees and fell asleep at the sofa . ahaha! then 2 hours later, i found myself on her bed. hahaa! too scandalous. thennnnn.. by 9am, rush home to sleep. hahah, but cant really sleep peacefully! -.- and now, my head hurts like crap ):

ahh. school starts again tmr -.- so boring . oh well, off to break fast now! byebye.

P.S: thanks sarahMEIJI for everything (: dont cry anymore okiiieee. i love you! hopefully, next weekend ill drop by again to have our breakfast ^^ hahaha .

2009-08-22T23:41:00.003+08:00

"i know i did alot of stupid shits, but i know im alot closer in finding someone than you are!"
haha, caught 'he's just not that into you' again.. made me cry again! hahah .

oh and i think someone's talking abt me in her blog, but im not sure ! haha, maybe im just being too sensitive, but she talked abt some sensitive issue, but i really do not know ! and if its really me, i think its pretty hurting yknow! like, sometimes, YOU HAVE TO BE IN THE SAME SITUATION AS ME AND EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING. DONT JUST SIMPLY GIVE SUCH CLICHE ADVICES AND THINK THAT IT IS SO EASY -.-, esp, when it comes from someone so unreasonable like you . idiot.

haha, okay, whatever luh . she did alot of mean things to my friends also, i guess, someone really gotta wake her up -.- hahaaaaaa . kay luh, the weather is making me sad & lonely ): sighs, nevermind, save all those . i shall probably post it somewhere else . bye!

btw, i prayed just now after i dont know how many months/years . definitely woke me up somehow.. idk, i just feel that ive been neglecting alot of things, like my religion. like yeah, my relatives are of different religions, and maybe since young ive been mixing with cousins too much that i start to think nothing of my own religion.. and now, we dont talk abt religions anymore.. and when i prayed just now, my mind was thinking abt alottttttt of things . yeah, those pasts that i had, those heartbreaks and everything.. memories, regrets and such. i realised that i need God to give me the strength to keep me strong always and also to forgive me for serious sins that i did.. i dont know, hopefully, ill be this way for long..

2009-08-21T22:35:00.001+08:00

ahhh. blogger's screwing up again -.- always happens when i wanna post some funny pictures up! hahaa .

anyways, school sucks. no, im not acting cool! i just think it sucks cause there's like overflowing of testtttts this week ! and im so so so glad that everything's over . haha, though i didnt really studied reaaaally that hard, i still think i deserve a pat on the back cause im falling sick due to staying up quite late to study :D hahaha . stupid coughhhh and sore throat -.- and tmr's fasting alreeaaady ! haha .

hm, today was quite relaxing :D 3 period of maths was quite fastttt O.O anddd, yeah . training was fun . haha, and chatting at mac was great too! ^^ haha, then went lot1 for awhile, and home, and lot1 again . hahahaaa . okay, im so tired, but i aint gonna sleep! byeeeee . oh! ika made me motivated to read a book suddenly . haha, hopefully, this will be the 3rd book that is completely read in my whole life !

sometimes, certain things aren't meant to be shared. though it hurts so bad and too heavy to take, i know i have to just swallow it in. sighs.

2009-08-17T19:42:00.002+08:00

stupid lorh. i took a picture during recess just now, and when i stare at it back again, i see fat cheeks ! DIE. even my sister said that -.- erghhhh. diet plan have been failingggg~ i wish i am as persistent as i was during sec1&2 days . hahah .

yeah, blogger is irritating. thought of posting some pictures up, haha, yeah, i know my blog is always so dull without pictures, but since blogger is like this, we shall let it be like this . haha . hm, 2 tests are over today ! :D not gonna think abt it, flunk means flunk. 3 more tests to goooo~ yesyes. im excitedddd. but oh well, fasting month starting soon! im hinting someone to faster carry on our swensens' date before its too late ! hahaaaaa, since last month ! -.-

oh well, i thought of revising geog, but seriously, got no motivation -.- geog seems so wordy and the topic doesnt interest me -.- wth, 3 bloody chapters . haha, but its okay, perseveeeeereee! hm, alright, i guess i gotta start revising abit ? no? haha, ill just go do some chemistry stuffs first then! hahah, byeeeeeee. oh btwbtw, i watched 'where got ghost' last night, and its awesome! and i saw someone who ive been wanting to see :D VERYYYY SATISFYING. HOHOHO.

ANYWAYS! ive got something to share ! while trying to keep myself awake so that i wont sleep on the couch just now, i was excited thinking abt how i can bring my children up next time . actually, im quite excited abt it! hahha, i know pretty retarded, i dont wanna think abt the pain during birth or whatev, i just want a child on my own! and i want to bring him/her up, teaching him abt life experiences and all . hahah, woo, very funnnnn ! haha.

i guess, i can be a pretty good mother (;

2009-08-16T15:33:00.001+08:00

fuckfuckfuck.
i know i shouldnt had gone there !
ahhhhhhhhh!
and everytime when i say im afraid of blog-hopping, ill still do it .
AND NOW .
I. FEEL. SO. ASJDLLADGOLNAHGAO;IGAGJMA !

stupid man! stupid itchy fingers .
and once i see it, i can never forget it, EVER AGAIN.
__
argh.
why must i be so stubborn !
aogvuaigjagojmfagmkfa;g

2009-08-15T12:24:00.000+08:00

haha, okay ! i think ive been thinking too much abt stuffs thats relating to the previous post, till i dreamt abt it.. and it was quite nice while it lasted, its like, the feeling is so great . i was so happy in my dream that i had tears of joy? ha . but when i woke up, the weather was soooo nice in the morning, so cloudy, and it was drizzling, sighs, it makes me feel lonely and i start to think abt lots of things . sucks right, when you just wake up from a nice dream, and realise it was all just a dream, then the weather made you so emotional and you'll start listening to songs that dampens your mood further . haha, but yeah, seriously, i still do care abt it . ahhhhhhh! whatever .

i just had a nice breakfast . hah, fried bee hoon with nuggets and sausages . haha . & i was blog-hopping and seeing most of the people are studying hard for their tests and exams, got me motivated abit , and thus, i shall study hard during this weekend and no more distractions! haha . hopefully, no more people in school will look down on me -.- haha .

alright, i shall start revising now! byebye .

2009-08-14T22:44:00.001+08:00

OKAY.
SHIT.
I. DID. IT. ALREADY.
AND. IM. DISAPPOINTED.

but nevermind.
im just being nice.
friendly gesture, isnt it?
haha.
i shall just go and sleep,
and dump all these shit in the rubbish bin.
oh sighs.

2009-08-14T21:39:00.000+08:00

zzz. damn shit can or not.
its so frustrating to get so troubled over this.
idk what to do!
whether i should or not.
whether ill be shamed or not.
i think i SHOULD NOT do it .
but i think i will in the end, due to stupidity.
though im trying so hard to control myself.
ahh, but i dont know!
it's just a friendly gesture, isnt it?
hopefully, someone won't look too much into it.
sighs, though i really feel that i shouldn't be doing this,
but, we'll see what happens next.

2009-08-09T00:59:00.002+08:00

ha-ha .
someone's making it known to people already huh ?
i want to call you shameless, but i know ill sound like a loser.
oh well.

yeah, i know where i stand.

2009-08-07T14:18:00.004+08:00

I MISS ALOT ALOT ALOT OF THINGS .
but i know they'll never be the same no matter how hard everybody tries.

2009-08-06T21:28:00.003+08:00

haha . i feel so tireddd, and i feel sosososo thirsty that i drank iced milo, ribena, honeydew sago, ice kachang and lots lots lots of plain water after i wake up from nap -.- where got so thristy until like this oneeee . haha! oh, and so many things/people distract and woke me up from my beautiful and peaceful nap just now.. & im still very sleepy ): and very thirsty. haha . i think im gonna get a stomach upset soon due to the clashing on drinks . haha okay whatever .

& im so troubled over something! ha, i dont want to be troubled over things like these luh, but then, i cant help it -.- i hope things will be fine sooner or later, cause i do not know what to do ! haha .

& im still very sleepy . but i know, i dont wanna sleep yet . haha . cause im waiting for someone to finish his tuition session . hmph! & also another someone to come back from his volleyball game ! ahaaa . im still very thirstyyyy . aiyer. had heavy lunch and dont feel like eating dinner at allllll, but i HAVE TO to avoid nagggggingggggs . haha, was sharing my moments with mdm nora to my sister and she likes her so much after hearing stories . LOL.

okay, super random post luh . but anyways, i dont feel like going tomorrow . but half of me feels like . well, i think the main reason of "dont feel like going" is just oh-so-obvious . sighs. i really hate to see someone's face. but i really want to at times . how contradicting! oh well . definitely going to acc that girly girl ikathebaka . -.- LOL .

kay, im still very sleepy & tired & THIRSTY.

2009-08-04T12:34:00.001+08:00

hahah, blogger's finally back! :D

anyways . i think weekends were too short ): hha, i had fun on saturday ! ha, went out with Ben and yadayada . was so funny laa . went town for lunch since both of us were so hungry . hah, rather satisfying lunch ^^ thnnn, walk around until sian already coz' there's nothing to do at town anymore -.- wanted to watch movie, but cancelld the plan and got out of town :D haha . went suntec and eat abit and since there's nothing to do, we watched movieeee ! ha, and all the movies there were NC16 -.- ha, and th planning part of smuggling ME inside is just so funny tht i couldn't stop laughing, till now! haha .

hah, we watched this . super random and crap movie luh. but totally worth the money ! 5/5 stars ! yyay. thn aft that, eat again and blabla . reached home, and bought macs for family, and myself. haha, and surprise surprise, there's Wii at homeeee ~ hahaha . die. now, i wont be able to focus in studies with such gaming gadgets around . hah, that's how i spent my saturday! & thats why i think weekends are too short coz' on sunday, ill have to prepare for sch -.-

andddd, im totally gonna flunk my maths test ): was doing halfway and i totally cant take it anymore that i have to go to the sickbay to rest ): FAILURE -.- alright, gonna go get MC later for compo test . hopefully ill feel better to go back to sch . bye .

2009-08-01T11:27:00.004+08:00

BLOGGER'S A BITCH.

anyways, im back posting :D haha . &yes dearest, date next week okay ! ^^ haha .

anyways, grandma left us on wednesday, and again, i received the news when im sleeping . shocked, but i didnt really feel the impact. & up till now, i feel like crying, but i can't. maybe i still cant accept the fact that she's gone, forever ? but very guilty for not sending her off, but i know, she understands. sighs, now, i can never go to aunt's house to visit her and kiss her forehead ): well, blame it all on us too, how long have we last seen her? months ago . sighs, whatever it is, may you rest in peace grandma, iloveyou.

alright, back on my life. hah, recently, i feel very demoralised by some fatbitch. ya i know im fat too and i just cant call people that, but sometimes, she really gets on my nerves and i feel like slaughtering her! but seriously, at times, it sucks to have someone commenting all the bad things abt you loudly knowing that you are there listening to it. you know, the feeling? angry. sad. demoralising. pissed off? that seriously sucks. and well, i know karma will befall on this fatbitch. so i guess, i shall just be patient and watch the show. _|_

sighs, i dont feel like going to school to see lotsa shitasses and living in self-denial . still, i cant help but i have to . sighs, i guess i shall keep this part personal before someone thinks im very weak and start to climb above my head .

but okay ! i shall enjoy my saturday with lots and lots and lots of awesome food in town and a nice movie, followed by some star-gazing (;
byebye!

2009-07-23T15:00:00.010+08:00

Hi. I'm helping this girly girl to post.

Oi. Can post regularly or not?
And you have to go on a date with me next week I don't care!
Let's work hard for our studies! :)

Don't always bump into taizi(wannabes) lahhhhh.

Goodbye my dearest. ♥

2009-07-13T23:49:00.005+08:00

Building up, and losing it out.

haha, yesyes, i know its been some time (: but yeah, im still here! :D just lose the momentum of blogging i guess ? but yeah . anyways, nothing much to say . hah, had been doing certain things, and hopefully its successful . ha.

ohhhh, and i got new phone :D haha, i love it luh . though i was expecting it, but when i get it, its different kind of feeling . haha, but its okay ! I. STILL. LOVE. THE. PHONE. wee. hm, on a random note, i can smell paint, & i totally love the smell :D another random note, as i was typing this post just now, i sort of chill. as in, you know, the shivering movement thingy . haha, and i dont know why ! but im rather scared now cause it might be you know, THOSE THINGGGGS~ hahaha .

okay, i feel not really satisfied abt today, but i do feel good :D me&dave overslept and in the end, after much slacking and all, we decided to just go on with the plan . hah, it was like 8plus luh, there wasnt much time, but i really feel good abt it ! :D

oh, and went bowling on sunday . haha, now my arm's rather aching . such stupid embarassing moments such as i almost got thrown down the alley together with bowling ball cause it was rather heavy, FOR ME. haha, and i acted pro and swing around, instead, it rolled behind me instead of going down the alley . laughed till cannot laugh anymore luh ! but, had fun ! :D the shoes were like, so lame -.-

& i found these 2 retards' picture in my phone .

haha, must be clara!

she never fails to surprise me with weird shots that suddenly appear in my camera album .

hahah .

okay, time for little chat . that dickdave just simply touched me. aw. nights !

P.S : BANANA ICE BLENDED SUCKS.

2009-06-16T22:21:00.004+08:00

&, I'LL FIGHT THIS WAR ALONE .

there's so many things going on right now.. but there's only ONE thing that's worrying me, and that particular thing is driving me crazy . ive tried not to think of it during any happy occasions, and i succeeded . but the moment im home, getting in touch with the cyberworld, its scaring me . i feel so afraid, but yet, i know i gotta stay strong & not cry anymore.. im trying really hard, very hard . only god knows how much this heart hurts, but im not gonna blame anyone for not understanding me, coz' it really takes experience to understand .

sighs, but i dont know ! im afraid im just not strong enough to face this problem . it's different, its really different from any problem that is in the same situation.. & mine's really different . & i cant really stand this particular fact ! the only fact in my life tht i can't stand, maybe ? it's hard . & being alone to face this, knowing that im really weak on the inside, i just do not know what to do ! & i dont wanna act pathetic and act as if im the only person with problems and its the end-of-the-world-for-me . NEVER .

there's still this feeling inside me that totally spoils everything when i hear people talking abt this problem . i gonna do it no matter what, cause i see no hope . i just feel like lying on my bed and cry my eyes off . BUT I KNOW CANT DO THAT, & I WON'T .

and there's so many ppl out there that disgust me . hypocrites. seriously, i know im not whoever that can judge this group of people. BUT seriously, its very very very contradicting . & i have nothing else to say cause really, you people shocked me . such hypocrites, backstabbers, think-they-are-the-best, and i didnt know, there's so many such people actually.

go ahead and contradict every single thing that you say to everybody you know, go ahead . at least i came across such rough patch before and i know, im gonna learn from it. trust ? its hard to gain, but very easy to lose, ISNT IT . ha, blame me for being so gullible .

sighs, and i really think EVERYBODY had changed..

i know this is a bloody long post, but i dont give a fuck care anymore . cause ive been keeping it in, and everybody has to explode one fine day . im just so disgusted, pissed, angry, and sad . i know ive not said what i really want to say, but at least, my point is there . pfttt. this is a super terrible night . i wish everything's just a dream -.- ha;fpiogjas;dfjgadfh ugadgiaofjgioajgoia dgujadfiogjadfo erghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

2009-06-16T00:25:00.003+08:00

i feel tired . hah, and i dont know why -.- i seriously lack of sleep luh . though i came back and slept till abt 3pm in the afternoon when i have my breakfast -.- haha . but yeah, stayover with pornstars the other time was rather emotional and i think everybody feels bad abt it, but nevermindddd, the following night's one was more hyped up :D and everybody start camwhoring like nobody's business . ahh, pics in meiji's blog i think . or her photobuckettttt. hahaha .

but yeaaa . i still have not done any work yet . even my project work x.x yeah, seriously doomed luh . and i cant sleep early anymore~ its rather boring cause i WANT TO sleep .

you know, i was blog-hopping, and i know i got lots to complain luhhh~ but some people seriously thinks they are the best & claims things . aiya, its disgusting laaa . but i know i got no rights to say all these, but I usually leave the person's blog with so many comments running through my mind . okayokay, dont judge me uh~ haha !

omg, my lil ah pek is so cute now that i should go and play with him . BYEBYEEEEE .

2009-06-13T15:11:00.002+08:00

there's so much in my mind .
but, i dont know, it seems that..
everything's gone .

haha .
this whole week is rather relaxing & peaceful at least . movies, nightlife, play, play, play, durians, food and money . hahah, since there's no sch for the whole week, this week's pretty awesome ;D not sure abt next week since there's training, and its in the afternoooooon ! boo to that . but yay to training, i guess . haha .

& now, im addicted to country songs ! ahaha, its nice luh . but very weird for the sudden interest in it luh . must be hannah montana ha . anyways, i think the movie made me like her abit, i used to dislike her so much without any reason -.-, but now, hah, she's actually rather nice :D

& oh, drag me to hell is awesome ! aha, there's so many words to describe that movie, buttt, its nice ! MUST WATCH. haha, the first US horror movie that actually made me scared in the theatre . LOL .

there's so many things to say, but i shall keep it mum, for the mean time (:

ILOVEBEINGHOMEALONE.

2009-06-09T12:09:00.004+08:00

& i thought i dont care anymore .

haha . i officially can say i suck in baking luh -.- LOL . i was browsing through stuffs and see people bake, so niiiiiice . and some were talking abt the their failed attempts and listing them out in their blogs, and i go 'O.O' haha, didnt know such lil things can make veryyyy big difference . so thus, conclusion, I DONT KNOW HOW TO BAKE. but its okay, im willing to learn :D anybody free ? :D hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa .

horhhhhhhh, someone got eyebrow piercing hor hor hor hor hor ? boo, its kay, ill pull it out one day (: hohhh . hahaha, and saw someone from primary sch, still as pa jiao as ever . tsktsk x)

ANYWAY, haha, im getting a new phone . totally stucked between W980 or W508, haha . but chose one . most prob gonna get it next week or sth . haha, everyone's using touchscreen phones, and everything, i just find it hard to type msgs ! ha . &&&, tried LG ARENA, not too bad, rather cool, but like i imagine if i drop such phones, and there'll be a huge scratch or crack x.x omg . ahaha, & samsung music edition phones are soooo awesome luh ! OH GAWD.

oh! & ive been saving money, but in the end, i spend everything on food -.- hah . eateateateateat. & the weather's killing everyone okay . just a 3 mins wait at cck bus interchange can make me sweat like as if i run for 10000km .. -.-

haha, and i cant see any latest picture in my phone -- totally never take any pics or whatv, haha, but i got one! :D

hahahahahahahahahahaha .

guess the only pic i got with her ;D

DANGEROUS DESIREE.

hor hor hor ?

LOLLLLLLLLL .

2009-06-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

mom cancelled the trip to indo . hah, pity her luh, but i seriously dont feel like going, cause i think its gonna be boring -.- going with ppl that i dont even know -.- i still have lessons for this coming week, but im not going . its too tiring luh. had been waking up really early everyday last week, even on a saturday ! so finally, im gonna have my rest ;D

its 1130 and i ordered mcspicy -.- what an ass. ive been eating alot . im still thinking of the jumbo beef frank i ate at swensens ytd x.x rarh, damn nice laaaaaa . haha .

2009-06-03T22:25:00.009+08:00

but i wont feel blue,
like i always do...
cause somewhere in the crowd there's you :D

hahah . okay, i dont know got who also :3 hm, im very sleepy x.x and i overslept today ! haha, sorry girls D; hahaha . there wont be a next time :D ah, lessons and rehearse abit today . was a rather peaceful day . with shopping for alot of nonsensical items after that ;D haahaaa .

anyways, i think there are things that pissed me off . sighs, it might be something small to you perhaps, but certain things may mean alot to a person, and perhaps, this time around, i feel that its not very nice to do such a thing uh, & i dont wanna use the word hurt, i just feel abit disappointed . but its okay, i guess i shall just take what's there to come . as in, ive got no choice & i dont wanna sound like a bimbo who keeps complaining abt every single shiat, cause yeah, world doesnt revolve around me & i got no control over anything . haa.

kay since they've been complaining, i should do some confession !
PORNSTARS ARE THE BEST LUHHHHHHHHHHHHH :D

but actually, at times i really wonder . why do i often have something to complain abt someone . though i know nobody's perfect & everything .. but i dont know, is it cause i expect too much ? or, the way that i want things to be doesnt seem to be realistic ? i know i got my own flaws too luh, but aiya, i dont know what's wrong with me x.x

and one more thing, its not loneliness, its not jealousy.. its really not a nice feeling & i have to live with it everyday . i just dont feel good abt it . sighsigh.

2009-06-01T13:51:00.002+08:00

KNN .
WTF.

seriously luh, if you so think that im such a bitch who goes around flirting with guys and break up with him after that and continue to flirt with others, then ask ur mother to go and die can . what is ur fucking problem ! you dont even know me well . such stupid anonymous . i know i shouldnt be affected by some stupid loser's words uh, but its so pissing me off when someone's trying to accuse me of things which is so untrue . wtffffffffffffff.

whatever. at least ive been in love, and i know how beautiful it is . perhaps, youre the one that have been fucking around .

2009-05-31T15:07:00.003+08:00

okay .
i fell from my computer chair .
and now my ass hurts .
i was laughing like an ass while chatting with sarahmeiji that i got no control over myself and fell . haha ! funny lil jokes .

went to JP ytd, and some foreigners can be so irritating that i feel like spraying pepper spray in their eyes ! seriously, cant they just mind their own business ? -.-

actually ive got nothing else to post . just wanna say that my ass hurts alot and after 10mins, my dad is still making fun of me . BOO .

2009-05-29T21:44:00.003+08:00

PMS.

sighs, shall get on that later . anyways, i want to post abt the trip with davebaby(?!) ytd ? hahaha ! yeah. we walked around and suddenly feel like watching movie . so we just watch monsters vs aliens . very cute movie, and we're the only one laughing so much luh .. and, hanky panky at the back of the theatre ? :X hahaha ! but overall, the movie's awesome ! :D

thn went for some super filling dinner . hahah, we ordered, tissue prata with cheese EACH . then we ordered mee goreng, roti john with mushroom & cheese and also thosai with mushroom & cheese . hahaha . even the waiter asked us, "can finish?" hahah ! and, yes, we proved it to him ! darn . we're so pig luhhhhhhh . hahaha . we got "lost" but its okay cause we are sluts and we attracted too many attention from bystanders and bus passengers xD hahaaaaa . & the day ended well . thank you.

school was very slackyy. screamed alot and all . PMSPMSPMS at the later part of the day, special sorry to Dave, SarahMeiji, and Mommy . rarh, i know, i was very whatever luh . but it sucks when the month just come D; sighs . PTC was alright. but i kept scolding my mom after that, and i feel so sorry . STUPID MOODSWINGS ! ):

sigh, another thing. i guess dave's right . i am very confused with my feelings now . well, we all know our feelings can get so haywired at times, and yeah, its something that i dont expect to happen too.. but, i dont know why it happened :O and its not really pleasant, cause yah, its hard . i dont know what to do . i dont know how its like rather strong o.O but, i dont wanna continue this . cause i know if it continues, ill feel that ppl might be unfair to me, and its not nice ! sighs . nevertheless, i feel super lousy now luh. pft.

2009-05-28T12:49:00.004+08:00

rarhhh . camp's over .

haha, somehow i miss it . as in, its just so relaxing luh, going to sch and play all day long, and well, lessons starting soon -.- hahaa, i think there's many ppl who didnt go to sch today, isnt it ?

hm, anyways, camp was fun luh . though the 1st day was abit awkward as i dont really know anybody .. haha, but the last day, was great ! :D everybody practically joking around with each other, suan-ing each other and all . aha, and yeah, me & sarah got high when the camp is ending, instead of during the camp . haha, but oh well, though my group was rather slacky and all, i still think the whole camp thingy was not bad (: yay . (although most of us are badly burnt)

anyways, gonna eat prata soon with daveee, yes, we're like so random luh -.- haha . and the weather is so nice now ! windy & cloudy . aw . alrighty, im hungry yet again x.x omg . i cant stand myself for being hungry every single minute luh -.- aiyo . & im so pig that ive been sleeping for 15 hours these days O.O

screw it.
though you're not disturbing me, but seeing you is disturbing enough .
so gross luh .
but nevertheless, im very happy with my life without you .
hahaha .

2009-05-26T21:37:00.002+08:00

sighsigh .

i totally dislike my skin colour now . its like BLACK luhhhh . no more dark brown or whatever . hahaha, so much for trying to stay indoors these days :3 haha . but oh well . camp was fun luhh!

as in, the activities such as high elements and dragon boating ! :D although like some parts i realise i was very bimbotic, but its okay, what matters most is, i had fun ! ^^ yay . i dont feel like going for tmr's activity x.x so tiredddddd ... and my arms are aching, haha, must be muscle growing ;D LOLOLL.

kay, i shall sleep early later after doing few more fb quizzes . damn funny luh ! hahaa .

2009-05-19T20:04:00.004+08:00

ACT ONE.

ahaha . today's training was awesome ! :D haha, as in, i enjoy myself luh cause it ended in a very pleasant wayyy. hee, and i enjoy playing ! :D anyways, my happiness was crushed when coach said there's training this friday x.x hahah, but no worries, things will still go as planned xD OMG . im so excited that im smiling and giggling non-stop -.- rahhh .

*VENUS BROWSING THROUGH SHAIKAH'S PHONE*
VENUS : omg . shaikah . your eyebags horhh ..
SHAIKAH : O.O harrrrh .

and now, im so conscious abt it now luhh . sighsigh . and i think today was a rather fine day . haha, i tried harder for history and i got marks that im rather happy about :D as in, ive been failing my hist test, so i guess, i love the marks that i got :D buttt its super close luhh ! hahaha . hm, mr tan was extra nonsensical just now also . funnnnnehhh .

&&& the day ended well with a nice match played during training ;D teehee (wth!) .
[ okay i think i mentioned this already. haha . byebye ! ]

2009-05-16T00:17:00.003+08:00

sighs .
just got back some time ago .

and after viewing certain things, seriously got me so disappointed in someone . as in, she's not the only one . there's so many others . it got me thinking that almost everybody are two-faced . its hurting me in a way . as in, i know i have no control in all these, but i thought they understand my point, but in the end, im the one getting rather hurt ?

i dont wanna confront anybody about this cause i finally get their point . im just like someone who rants to them and they'll pretend that they understand me and when the time arrives, such things happen . its not the first, nor the second, its more . i dont force anyone, but it's expected when everyone gives me replies like that . i feel betrayed & doubtful of the trust given .

i didnt know i can get so disappointed like this.

everybody's the same afterall.

2009-05-15T13:36:00.002+08:00

i had this yesterday in the morning with Dave !
Perfect Breakfast.

watched this in the evening in with PuiHian .
totally amaze me, but its so not link to the title and horror shit -.-
was laughing like an ass at ppl's reaction instead .
esp some ahpek xD

went home .
slept for awhile .
then off to Pornstars till the next morning :D
& now, i can hardly open my eyes.
but going lunch soon~

hahah, i guess it was an awesome day yesterday ! alright .
byebye .

2009-05-13T13:57:00.004+08:00

sighs . exams are over . ha, actually, im feeling guilty already x.x i dont wanna see results luhh . cause yeah, though i feel that its over, there's not much difference . i still went out, slack around and play comp and sleep as much as i can during exam period x.x rarh . but its okay, ill probably burst out laughing after getting every paper back . hoho .

sighs, i was trying to fall asleep but i just cant just now . alot of unexpected images just flash through my mind ): i was trying my best to like drift my thinking, but somehow, i just think of you out of a sudden, and i feel like lonely . that's all. erghhhhhhhhh.

okay, i shall not think too much . gnna enjoy these 4 days "holiday" with alot of things :D byebye.

2009-05-11T13:37:00.002+08:00

hm, i think its rather sad when Dave asked me that question nights ago . it's making me wake up that maybe im really very fickle and choosy with things, and thus, making me feel this way . i know its rather bad, but every single soul got their own different needs, and mine, is just that. its not something easy to obtain, but it'll be something that is already there, & till now, i have not found any . things are changing and yet i agree, im afraid. still, very very afraid.

2009-05-08T20:18:00.005+08:00

ADAM LAMBERT IS GAY .
that sucks. but, i love gay boys . they're hawt !

hahaha . whatever it is, i hope he's the next idol ! orrr, Chris also can luhh . haha yay.

rarh . whenever i see people studying so hard for MYE, it gives me a very guilty feeling . i know that ive not been studying and revising my work well, and taking examination as something to play with . yes, ill promise everyone to work harder . haha, i will i will I WILL . ill try my best to understand history although i really know nothing abt it except for Treaty Of Versailles (:D), but i will try my best !

hahah, but yes, i still feel tired after doing abit of revision here & there and being late for papers xD hahaha, i cant have a peaceful sleep ! with all those kind of msges and calls received, i dont want to go back and do the same mistakes all over again.. but oh well . 2 PAPERS LEFT! and we all should do well for it ! YAY.

chem paper was funny today . MILK = A NON-METALLIC COMPOUND ? hahaha ~ i so should've put it as Mixture luh, its more.. erm, sensible . haha . okay, time for some short party at home tonight ^^ moviesssssssssssss. hahaha . & mama scold me cause i look so pale as ive been skipping meals . boo.

imissnightlife. oh, PORNSTARRRRRS !

2009-05-02T14:21:00.002+08:00

wellwell.

stupid gadget craze .
now i really wonder if i should just sell off my psp,
and use the money to get myself a new phone :D
hahah .
or i should just get a phone with the help of my parents .
butttt, i dont want to!
been demanding rather alot already x.x
rarhh.

and i dont wanna sacrifice anythinggg :X hahaha .
but ohh well.
anyways, been surveying for good and nice phones, but every phones got their own disadvs and had left me with no choice but to wait for better phones .
oh well, should continue surveying ! :D

hahah, oh, and MYE period sucks .
ive only started on bio for revision -.-
im so lazy to read up on SS. its pissing me off!
i dont think ill do well for MYE .
sighsigh .
and mt paper was hard .
lost the momentum of writing during paper1.
and paper2, haha, lets just not talk abt it .
but hey, ive tried my best !

2009-04-21T18:45:00.004+08:00

DISAPPOINTED.

hahah, its all the same, isnt it ?

forget it.
i count myself lucky :D
hah, so much for all those -.-

hahah, but i dont care . i guess whatever dave said earlier is true ! sighs.

2009-04-20T21:27:00.005+08:00

yes i know. you feel like slapping my face. haha !

anyways, caught 17 again last night, AWESOMEEEE movie . haha, finally see the hotness/cuteness in Zac Effron . hahah, i love the movie cause it made laugh my ass off while eating durian puffs&mochis in the theatre ^^ haha , very inconsiderate .

hm, school has been boring . DUH. and puihian sorta woke me up just now . as in, i realised i HAVE to study hard for my upcoming exams . rarh. && i never bring anything back for me to revise -.- and i have malay test tmr, and im so gonna die . sighsigh .

sighs, after today, i realised that maybe im just running away . my heart just pumped so fast when it happened just now . what does that mean? dave said, "you must know what you want!" and i agree . idk what i want now . although i see things are not in a mess, but it feels like it is in a mess . is it just pure confusion or just, fear?

2009-04-18T22:04:00.002+08:00

rarhs . is anyone's morning any worst than mineee ? haha , dont wanna say anything, but that 10 mins was torturous -.- hahah. but the day ended well ~

netball carnival was rather fun . its been some time since i play netball though . it feels real . haha, idk how to explain luh . but yea . hm, it was really funnnn . except for the sun! screw you .

was like sun tanning almost the whole time . the moment i reach home, i cant wait to bath . and it was really hot that after i bath and change my clothes, i was still sweating -.- then complaint like crazy with the whole family and everybody went to take nap xD hah! (even someone who was sleeping in starbucks ehhh~ ;D)

and yes, i got crazy blue blacks on weird, extremely weird parts o.O by unknowns . haha ! ohoh, and i got bloodshot eyes O.O like seriously very scary.

parents : why are ur eyes swollen ? you were crying huhhh?
me : yeah ):
parents : whyyy ?
me : cause my boyfriend ditched me!

haha, and their expressions were just oh-so-priceless . rahr, and because of these eyes, i cant go for night jog with DAVE ! hahaha . nevermind, alrightie, wanted to upload pictures, but im in a rush . soooo, see ya all ! :D byebye.

2009-04-17T23:06:00.002+08:00

rarhhhh.
i went to school today :D

ahaha . anyways, i cant sleeeep . adding to the fact that i have to wake up at 530-545am for some carnival thingy.. but still, i cant sleep! cause i slept like some pig earlier on for 4 hours -.- rarhhh .

2009-04-16T13:13:00.003+08:00

i know. its been some time (:

hm, yesyes, i know i promised myself, but school seems so =/ i dont know whats wrong ! RARHHH . fine . ahah, anyways, i got a very fucked up dream . and seriously, it sucks cause it triggers everything . irritating right ? hahaa, but nevermind :D okay, im gonna meet some people now . byebye !

imissyou.

2009-04-09T22:11:00.008+08:00

*hangs a disco ball*

*starts grooving to the song!*

haha, yesyes, its a super retro song im having as my blog song now :D but yeah, many lovely memories when i was still a kid :D stumbled upon this song while watching tv just nw! haha . yeahyeah, so just start shaking ur asses while reading my blog yeah ^^

anyways, im gonna FAIL my A MATHS TEST today :D yup, no doubt . i didnt even revise and pratice math the night before cause i slept at 730 -.- haha . yeah, and screw chem too ! yay. actually, can like 6m full for one of the question for math, BUT STUPID CARELESS MISTAKE ! yesyes, i guess 'people' gonna kill me for that . rarhs, even myself! yeah. enough.

finally went to the doctor yesterday for MC sake xD and the doctor wanna do a blood test on me! hahah . funny stuffs happened . hm, im back to sch . yes, i wont pon again okay ! exams coming uppp . im gonna be serious, i hope =/ but whatev.

hm, 5 stations was funny . screw it, but whatev, i had fun ! :D alright, American Idol ! byebye.

family photo . haha, guess who's who ! :D

i feel like slapping myself.

okay, fine, slapped . haha .

hahah! this one.. haha, idk what to say already :D

haha, just browsing thru' and i guess these pictures are rather funny ! haha .

okay, byebye.

2009-04-07T20:08:00.004+08:00

trynna figure out this life.

its always like this . whenever the sudden motivation to study hard and pay attention in class strikes me, there's always something that will pull it all the way down . seriously, for today's incident, i just feel like saying all those things right in her face .

i just think this is so unfair . why is it always me, and not the others when they actually did the same thing as me ? or perhaps, worst ? i tried my best, not to let all these affect my mood and the sudden drive of motivation in studies, but it aint helping at all . i jst feel that its just so unfair . what have i done that you have to hate me so much and always pick on me ? just because you're not happy with my face ? thats so unfair !

doesnt mean my face seems like a stuck-up bitch/slut in ur face, doesnt mean you have to hate me for life . its disgusting to see how you treat others so different when you treat me like this . and im not asking you to treat me like how you disgustingly treat them, i just need you to be fair! fine, you can do this to me, but how come i just cant see you doing it to others ? it's always SHAIKAH SHAIKAH SHAIKAH . wtf. i feel so pissed .

i dont want people to hate me just because of the way i look . the way i walk. the way i talk. the way i act in front of ppl or whatsoever. if you hate me the way i am, because of my PERSONALITY, then i jolly well will welcome you into my hate club or something. its really not fair to me! i dont ask for such face or whatsover .. fuck it.

2009-04-04T14:58:00.002+08:00

heyyyy .
rarrh . so boring .

my life is like a loser's life .
haha, definitely not what i want .
hm, things are changing fastttttt ..

sighsigh, im looking for a better day every single day .
and pathetically, it's always the same thing .
never better .
haha, but nevermind, ill wait for it patiently .

anyways, caught confessions of a shopaholic yesterday with the girls .
awesome movie .
& omg, i slept from like 645pm all the way till the next day and wake up only at 11.11am in the morninggg .
hahaha . sisters said i didnt even move when they wake me up O.O
& its 303pm in the afternoon and its so hot outside that i feel like staying in .
rarh . im bored .
fine, i shall go out .
byeeeeeeeeeeee .

2009-04-01T20:15:00.002+08:00

rarhs . hello .
hahah .
im back & im tired .

anyways, these days were so tiring .. and i feel so lazy to go to school and do my work . & even revise my maths -.- so yeah, i think im ready to flunk my e math -.- i know nuts abt volume similarity nonsense -.- ha, sian . first thing in the morning today got scolded by ms soh -.--- hm, blablabla . i just did my geog articles! :D i did my reflections longer this time around . Am proud of my work ! ^^

haa, im so bored . Ben is cutting his hairrrr now. and im skipping dinner cause im back to my diet cause im getting fatter.. but im hungrehhhh ! rarhhhhh . fine, i shall drown myself in chem homework . hopefully to do it smoothly without troubles x.x goodbye !

2009-03-30T19:38:00.002+08:00

disappointed, very .

when one thing comes, it'll automatically link up to the others and making me feel so fragile at that moment, but i know, im strong (:

thanks for being there girls, & Ben .
but after that peaceful jog, i realise, its just the obstacles of life ?
haaaa.

but whatever it is, ill just sleep soon so that i can run away from this, for a moment .
nights.

2009-03-29T15:23:00.004+08:00

blahhhhhhh .
anyways, watched coming soon & the unborn last night . both super boring . rating both 0.5/5 stars . 0.5 cause it at least made me scream and jump out of my chair, but most of it, making me sleep . in the end, i slept at the ending of the unborn . bawring . it always happens! i cant find any US version of ghost story that will keep me awake, and scary at least . well, so far, its only exorcist :D ha, okay, dnt worry pornies, im still alive & kicking .

down with flu . i dont feel like going to sch tmr, or play the match ): cause i have very low self-confidence now, i dont know why either . sighs . but anyways, im taking a break today/tonight ! sorry for last minute changes :D

its been a year .
questioning myself, still, im unable to get an answer .
i dont know what this heart feels, or what my mind is thinking .
but definitely, it aint the same .
perhaps, i dont have any answer as the things just keep coming back ?
or its just a simple plain reason,
which is all just because of Me, myself & i.
messy, confusing & contradicting?
i guess, thats how the situation is right now .

i wont think too much.

2009-03-27T23:20:00.005+08:00

sighs, after the serious talk with mdm nora, i feel so lost suddenly . idk why, perhaps its just that.. nevermind . hm, i guess after every netball match, the motivation for me to work harder gets higher . its just tht i really wanna improve for the better, but sometimes, idk why i cant achieve things that i want . like studies too . maybe, im lazy, tired, or i dont know, mind over matters ? haha .

finally, a nice night to sleep . a nice night with every member of the family is in th house, we're gonna have some horror movie marathon, followed by a very good night sleep while its raining heavily . i hear thunders~ :DDDD i think the Shaik's family gonna enjoy tonight's sleep as everybody's free tomorrw and we're gonna sleep as much as we can, like PIGS ^^ woohoo!

and damnnn, clara said ive become chubbier, rarhs, this means ive put on weight ): and that sucks. i know ive been eating real lot these days ! but cant blame me what, it happens every month, but only this month its extra alot ): boohoo . its okay, ill start dieting all over again . tedious, but yes, im gonna do it ! :D okay, goodnights . its family time (:

hope everybody will rest well, and complete your homeworks and revision fast, so you can at least take a break for a short while, before another hectic week which is full of tests D:

2009-03-25T22:10:00.002+08:00

long time never post huh .

sucky night.
had a terrible headache .
went to get the axe oil,
and usually, i wont put at my hand and rub on my head ..
ill just slowly pour at my forehead, and in the end, its too much...
and my eyes can feel the heat(?) from the axe oil, and my forehead
is freaking heaty . rarhhh .

how dumb can it get ? -.-
and now, i just wanna sleep my night off and stop thinking of such stupid things cause its not gonna help me at all .. i should go get shut my damn eyes and dont even imagine so many things whatsoever . i dont know, im super pissed now -.-

perhaps, its just my moodswings . ahh, whatever.

2009-03-17T00:22:00.003+08:00

tiring tiring ! just got back O.o hahah, went to meet dave abt 10+ and loiter around with banks -.- haha ! thnn crapped around, and went home abt 12 ? i somehow felt so scared x.x cause its like, there's no single soul there, and the wind is so strong . suddenly thought of the stories that nana, clara, ika & nora told me x.x omgosh . haha, but yeah, i quickly go up to my house . and in the lift, i imagined what if there's some figure i can see at the mirror of the lift . i dont know, somehow tonight it felt so different just now, other than the days that i reach home late . and this kinda feeling is very uncomfortable ):

BOOOOOOOO !

2009-03-15T00:13:00.003+08:00

its a saturday night !

and finally, im having my life .
at sarahmeiji's .

darn my phone, its dying, the battery i mean .
cant call Dave to wish him during the very last second !
cant continue the "dedication" with "98.7fm" (haha, gervina!)
cant msg some people !
rarhh .

alrightie, guess im gonna have a nice breakfast later with Pornies, what, Roti Prata ? or some nice home-made sandwich ? haha . okay, movies time ! BYEEE !

P.S : Jason is screaming his guts off cause man utd lost. and he is so noisy x.x

2009-03-14T12:38:00.011+08:00

hello ! haha . its been so longgg . long day for everybody on monday huh ? haha , me too :D anyways, training was very tiring ): i just feel like dozing off . and i cant run ! boooo~ my stamina is all the way down the metre, i guess ive been eating too much that cause me to just get heavier and fatter OR, its just that i dont train enough ): haha !

anyhoo ! ive been yearning for cherryade ! haha . and melon drink (hinting to alina) LOL! and i cant get it cause shops near my house doesnt sell it ! pft, anyways, went to the debate in the evening, they're good speakers man! only 2 of them though, haha, but sadly, one of them was rather slow & things, that made me sleepy, so i played Tennis Multiplay with Faziana ! haha . aft that, mac for awhile and went home . ate and fell asleep after that =.- BOO ! i was supposed to watch the horror movie at channel u -.- darrnrnrnrnr . haha .

sighs 1 week holiday is so not a holiday -.- going back to sch, in the morning etc . then certain days have matches & trainings . and i need to do some things~ sian . when am i gonna meet the pornstars!

by the way, results suck . its like, the worst result i ever get ): i dont really care if mine is lower than others or higher than them, i dont like to compare . i just compare within my own expectations, and obviously, its not what i expected . esp science -.- like seriously, chem totally pulled my grade down . rarh. but oh well, i know i deserve this though . but cant blame me, i just feel like sleeping everytime when i reach home ): but! whatever it is...

lets just try to enjoy the "Break" and forget abt these first ! cheerios.

ANYWAYS ! its a very nice morning today . nice morning for a nice relaxing breakfast at some hawker centre or foodcourt . you know, nasi lemak or prata for breakfast ? haha, whatever it is, ITS A NICE MORNING ! :D

2009-03-10T22:33:00.002+08:00

"SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WANT HER ANYMORE" - quoted by, someone.

rarrhhh . i know you're guilty for your whole life after saying that, ISNT IT ? haahha . but oh well, just so you know, we've always got each other ! perhaps, being harsh can be very hurting, but just so you know, it might be building some inner strength in us ? hahaa . oh well, black kerrrk ? hahaha . fine, i dont know how to spell it either -.-

anyways, yeah, jealousy causes hatred. i guess, its building in me. but i hate it, when everytime its working, there's always something that will stop it. and when that happens, you know, the heart will start to have that painful stretched feeling, and when that happens, i know that you still mean something to me.

2009-03-09T20:50:00.004+08:00

COLD .

haha, in class, i felt so uhagagjdfgujhafogl . sighs, but thanks to dave for the things (: haha, *youknowwhatimean* but anyways, CE was fun, as in, my group members were so crazy and wthell . instead of discussing, we crapped so much . so yea, that cheered me up :D

anyhoo, mother tongue was funny ! you know, inside jokes . hahah ! whistling etc xD okay ! i need a very good sleep . i slept at 3am last night -.- wthhh . today's jog seems to be relaxing :D haha, i wonder why warm up for trainings had never been so relax . hahah ! kay luh, actually i forgot what i wanted to post abt . so, its okay ;D i shall go watch tv and sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep .

& to you bitch, I KNOW YOU DID IT ON PURPOSE . YOU ACHIEVED YOUR MOTIVE, GRATS. & i just hate the sight of you . like seriously, fuck you .

2009-03-08T16:00:00.004+08:00

its not that i dont want these . i really do . perhaps im also under the category of someone who cant be independent ? i dont know . after whatever that had happened, it made me feel so insecure . i know i should be fair, but i still got that feeling in my heart . i still got that concept in my mind . i dont wanna take anybody as a replacement, nor someone for me to vent everything to . i dont want it to have a bad impression either, but it already got . & therefore, perhaps, i just need you by my side to guide me the way . i apologise if things had turn out bad, but i assure you that i wont get any more weaker (: thank you .

okayyyy . haha, back to normal post ! i guess i have to go to the hospital soon cause i got so many problems with my health ): its not that i dont wanna go, i feel so scared, what if i discover something ? i just dont want to know . sighhh, but oh well . anyways, i watched Slumdog Millionaire last night :D its a veryyyyyyyy nice showww . it's very interesting, and exciting . haha, i strongly encourage everybody to watch this movie ! haha, yesyes . i enjoy staying at home ! its so relaxing~ haha, unlike school, driving everybody nuts . i just want to rest, sleep, and slack my day off . give me another 2 days break pls ?

i miss you. i still got this heartache.

2009-03-07T21:50:00.003+08:00

hahah !
yes yes !
i got back my files that were in my N73 :D
hahah, the old songs, the PICTURES & VIDEOS .
funny shit !

:DDDDDDD
but looking through the pics, got me missing the past . but ohh well! haha . alright, im gonna continue laughing my ass off at the pics and videos xD

GOSH ! EVERYBODY LOOKS SO DIFFERENT NOW ! ;D

2009-03-06T22:34:00.001+08:00

ITS FINALLY SQUEEZED :D

hahaha .
i came online just to tell some people that -.-
okay, i know im lame .
but i gotta check my horoscope too actually .
that's why .
haha, alright .
im so tired .
early night tonight .
Goodnight everyoneeeee !

2009-03-05T22:30:00.005+08:00

Sliced Fish Bee Hoon .

i think Clara & Jason has been hearing "i want to eat sliced fish bee hoon!" quite a number of times, haha . but now, not anymore . my craving had been satisfied. i have been craving for it since flag day 2008 with the netballers okay ! see how pathetic i am. hahaha, and yeah, i had it . yummy ! weeee~ congratulate me pls . thank you~ HOHO .

okay, i have not been having enough sleep ): anyways, i think im not gonna do malay e-learning stuffs, haha, cause im lazy and very tired, and i think im used to getting scolded by mdm nora -.- hahaha! butttt ohhh well . damn, i feel so tired, and my eyesight is rather blur now . WHAT'S HAPPENING !

nevertheless, its a very beautiful and wonderful night :D calm, quiet, rainy, lonely but peaceful (: haha . okay, goodbye !

2009-03-04T22:03:00.008+08:00

i want a dog as a pet, but tooooooo bad . sighhhh .

okay, gonna take a short break by updating :D LOL . hm, e-learnT yesterday and today -.- haha, so lame lorh . but its quite cool ya know . as in, you can wake up late, slack around, do work, then got so much time in the nooon to go out, sleep or do ur own stuffs . so relaxing . BUT OH WELL, SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW ! haha . and there's chem test tmr, which i think ill screw it up . and yes, chem's gonna pull my whole Science down -.- cause ive been scoring pretty badly . wth .

anyways, things were so funny just now . supposed to catch the 245 show, and 2pm, both of us were still talking to each other on phone and then got panicked cause by then we realised tht there's not gonna be enough time ! we still havent bath etc . then we screamed and rush all the way . hahah funny scene! watched Marley & Me . told cha, makes me wanna have a pet dog . and that show is so nice okay ! it made me tearrrrr . very touching etc . we were laughing like assholes in the theatre over some parts xD ahah, thn teabreak or dinner at pizza hut and home .

alot of things to complete . somehow, there's alot of malay homeworks -.- ive yet to study for chem and im proud of my malay powerpoint slides :D hoho . and oh ! im gonna watch SlumDog Millionaire tomorrow :D hohoho . ahaha . envy me! -.- haha . alright, bye !

2009-03-02T22:56:00.003+08:00

imagine sitting with your boyfriend by the beach, with the sound of the waves wooshing & the wind blowing your hair, and admiring the aurora together with him arm-hugging you so tightly at your waist, and holding your hands in the other and kissing your forehead while expressing his love verbally that is just so heart-melting.

2009-03-02T22:14:00.003+08:00

I SWALLOWED A HOUSEFLY OR IDONTKNOWWHAT BUG -.-
i can feel it so hard and hairy into my throat and intestine .
and now, its still inside my intestine, can feel it okay !
D: SICK BITCH !
and everybody that knows abt it goes, "you have no idea what shit it got onto before"

rarrrhhhh .

DAVE MADE ME THINK OF SOMETHING .
*HIM.
hahaha !

2009-02-28T23:54:00.002+08:00

outing with girlfriends :D haha . was awesome, fun, anything you can think of (: haha, watching he's just not that into you, AGAIN . haha, sighs, sometimes, the truth is just hard to accept, BUT OHHHHHH WELL . hm, suan puihian alot abt stuffs, and ika abt her height xD haha, but dont worry girls, you know deep down inside, i love you! :D hahaa . then home abt 10plus, whoa, not bad uh ph (yougetwhatimean) xD but just joking (:

otw home, things happened ): i dont know! i feel so horrible suddenly and tears just keep trickling down . eff this feeling . eff those peope . eff the heart . this sucks . totally . i know, my girlfriends keep scolding me already . and my boy-friends too, but this cant be helped! im sorry. but, sighs, i dont know, i just feel so terrible now . oh well .

This could be the end of everything,
So why don't we go,
Somewhere only we know ?

2009-02-27T20:52:00.002+08:00

hahahah . venus ! woo~

anyways ! i was thinking abt this last night . as in, people change . and when they change, its either good or bad . i really wonder how i'd changed . somehow, people just dont wanna say it, and I AM afraid to know it too . cause i think im the kind of person who dislike changes, unless, its from the bad to the good . haha, but yea, seeing how people change is scary, but i have no idea how i'd changed. i hope, it isnt a bad thing though . but i somehow got a feeling that it is . haha, oh well .

FINALLY ! it's the end of the week again ! hahha, seemed so long ): having bio test, a maths, and both humanities on consecutive days IS tiring .. didnt really study much. and geog test was, O.O . hahah, pacific ring of fire, damn, i missed that out! and yea, tsunami . oh well, BUT ITS OVER NOW ! i hope i wont fail anything . so the weekends are here, e-learning week next week, then thursday, followed by another friday . definitely time to rest as much i can . now, i dont have to worry if i havent sleep even after 1am (: hoho . kay, training today somehow feels more tiring . town tmr with the girls ! gotta rest. byeee .

sometimes, one can flirt when she's single, but when she's attached, she can be very devoted, so pls, do not judge people like that, cause you'll never understand how a girl really feels (:

From "He's Just Not That Into You",
if he never calls you means, he's just not that into you.
if he never message, then how ?
hahah ! okay, whatever .
I HOPE THIS ISNT REPLACEMENT ):

ididntknowwhyifeltsoangrywhenisawyou ):
ihatetosaythis, butimissyoualot.

2009-02-24T20:34:00.006+08:00

haha . i love this picture . but after staring at it for long, i realise my nose looks so huge there -.- hah whatever! btw, its not some act cute picture uh, i was cracking my brain for some maths questions :D

woo . i miss blogging -.- LOL . been rather busy everyday . so many things, too little time . hm! i am getting fatter, been eating alot -.- but wth, its so unfair -.- i exercise already, still like this . hahaha. okay, so, sch has been drowning me leaving me there gasping for air .

very pathetic okay . almost everyday, lessons are getting rather draggy and when you daydream JUST ABOUT 5 MINUTES, you have no idea what is going on already . LOL. especially, BIO . well, this will be the last week of tests, i hope . haha, so next week im able to relax abit ! :D hoho . and...

CHEW PUI HIAN, we'll go & play ball next week okay :D SORRY .

ohhh ya. something digusting happened when i was in the bus home just now . there's this rather plump, bangs-wanna-be minah stared at me like as if i steal her boyfriend or whatsoever (which is nothing of sort, OBVIOUSLY) and she kept staring at me alllll the wayyy . wth, so pissed off luh . i feel so wronged & angry at her -.0 anddddd, another teck whye girl sitting in front of me keep looking around and seriously, STARE, & GLARE at people o.O and never keep her eyes off even when you look back at her . she looks at ppl with her mouth open and everything . wah, seriously, feel like slapping her face luh . she kept looking at me, up and down, and the woman sitting beside her which is talking to the handp -.- haha, wth . so irritating sia .

okayyyy, bio test tmr . a maths test on thurs . and ss & geog test on friday . wth, both humanaties tests are on the same day . wtffff.

kay, gotta revise like some madass girl . sighs i feel so drained out after training x.x

i suddenly remembered something when i saw you just now, and my heart was really beating fast .. aw man, what is this feeling! am i just deluding myself or it's just the truth? ):

2009-02-21T23:58:00.002+08:00

haha woo . 1159pm huh ? so holy manzxzjghzjfgajsfga . LOL ! anyways, just got back from a movie with Dave ! HAHA . we watched he's just not that into you . VERY HARSH movie okay . but i guess, its quite true . damn, i HAVE to wake up . but so many funny things happened in the theatre, LOL !

then went for dinner and walked home together while shaking our asses :D hahaha ! OKAY . and woo, the bruise on my knee is no more already, haha, all thanks to dave for pressing it like mad -.- hahaha . but it works ! wooooo~

my eyes are still swollen though, make me feel so sleepy == diaozxzzzxzxz . haha . i think the "zxzxzzxzxzxzxZ" making me laugh like an ass . haha, and woo, sister just bought me a vitasoy ! :D hahaha . favfavfav. okay, there's nothing else to say anymore . aw . thanks for reading . seeeyah! hahaa .